As far as the east is from the west,
so far has [God] removed our sins from us. (Ps 103:12)
How far is the east from the west?
We come to God carrying a little or a lot.
Some of it needs blessing.
A lot of it needs to be let go of.
We don’t know how or where exactly to find God
(who is notoriously elusive),
in order to obtain that blessing,
or to have the ablation performed,
so that we can get rid of
whatever we need to get rid of.
So we come to church,
because God is reliably to be found here.
Many of us are more motivated by the exhaustion
of carrying with us things we can no longer carry
than we are by the desire for blessing.
Ash Wednesday is a day
to do something
about the exhaustion.
What am I to do? we ask.
What am I to do with all this stuff
I have been carrying for so long,
and that is weighing me down?
I don’t think I can carry it any longer.
Where did we get the idea
that God’s primary interest
was to judge us on the basis of our burdens?
To think less of us,
because of what we’ve been carrying?
What am I to do? we ask.
What am I to do with all this stuff
I have been carrying for so long,
and that is weighing me down?
Set it down, says the Lord.
Set it down,
and let’s unpack it together.
Oh, but if we unpack it together,
then you will see all the ugly details
of what I have been carrying with me,
some of which has become old and stale,
which makes it even uglier!
And if you see all those ugly details,
and if you realize how long
I have been carrying some of this stuff,
you will judge me harshly, to be sure.
The Lord disarms us with a smudge of ash.
Remember that you are dust
and to dust you shall return.
What interest does God have
in reducing our lives to dust and ashes?
Our lives were nothing but dust and ashes
before God put his breath into us.
But when our lives return to dust and ashes,
the breath will still have been breathed through us.
And we will still have embodied God’s breath;
and some small particle of the breath of God
will still smell like you,
will still smell like me.
Remember that you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.
Now, come, where were we,
with all the stuff you were going to unpack?
I left it over there, you say.
I left it behind me
when you called me here
to put this smudge of dirty ash on me.
Why have you marked me like this,
for shame?
Show me again,
says the breath of God;
show me where you left it:
all that you were carrying for so long
that was weighing you down.
It’s back there, you say.
I left it behind me,
when I came in here to face the east,
to face you.
It’s further behind me than I realized, you say,
as you squint to count the parcels you have left behind,
making sure they are all still there.
You cannot tell.
Turn again to the east,
God’s breath says,
bearing the faintest scent of you on it;
bearing the faintest scent of me.
Turn again to face me,
and leave those things behind.
All that? you say.
I can leave all that behind?
Aren’t my sins packed up in those parcels,
And spilling out?
Oh, yes,
comes the breath of God,
oh yes, your sins are in there.
Turn again to the east;
turn again to face me.
You had turned back again,
to check on the parcels that you left behind,
that you were carrying for so long,
that were weighing you down, the burdens for which
you had expected God to judge you.
But you can hardly see them in the distance now,
it’s as though you are sailing away from them,
and leaving them all behind
on a shore to which you will never return.
Perhaps God is collecting those parcels,
to inspect their contents,
and to wince in the process
of the accounting of your sins,
or mine.
You suspect that that is what God is doing:
pinching his nose,
at the lingering odor of you,
or me.
Comes the breath of God,
Turn again to the east;
turn again to face me.
And in your turning,
you are carried further and further away
from all that you were carrying for so long,
and that weighed you down,
from all your sins.
And so am I.
What are we to do?
What are we to do with this stuff
we have been carrying for so long,
and that has been weighing us down?
Set it down, says the Lord.
Set it down.
Remember that you are dust
and to dust you shall return.
What interest does God have
in reducing our lives to dust and ashes?
Our lives were nothing but dust and ashes
before God put his breath into us.
But when our lives return to dust and ashes,
the breath will still have been breathed through us.
And we will still have embodied God’s breath;
and some small particle of the breath of God
will still smell like you,
will still smell like me.
Remember that you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.
Now, come, where were we,
with all the stuff you were going to unpack?
I left it over there, you say.
I left it behind me
when you called me here.
Show me again,
says the breath of God;
show me where you left it:
all that you were carrying for so long
that was weighing you down.
It’s back there, you say.
I left it behind me,
when I came in here to face the east,
to face you.
When you turn back, and look behind you,
the breath of God asks, can you tell me where it is?
What has become of all your parcels?
What has become of all your sins?
But you cannot answer;
You do not know.
And you realize that you are not exhausted
any longer.
And a desire for blessing is being born in you,
and in me.
Comes the breath of God,
Turn again to the east;
turn again to face me.
And you do.
And I do.
The blessing for which you were once too exhausted,
now seems as though perhaps it is within reach.
What has become of all your parcels?
What has become of all your sins?
Where are they now?
As far as the east is from the west, you say,
as far as the east is from the west,
So far has he removed our sins from us.
For he himself knows whereof we are made;
he remembers that we are but dust.
Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.
What interest does God have
in reducing our lives to dust and ashes?
Our lives were nothing but dust and ashes
before God put his breath into us.
But when our lives return to dust and ashes,
the breath will still have been breathed through us.
And we will still have embodied God’s breath;
and some small particle of the breath of God
will still smell like you,
will still smell like me.
That’s how far the east is from the west:
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has [God] removed our sins from us.
Preached by Fr. Sean Mullen
Ash Wednesday 2024
Saint Mark’s, Locust Street, Philadelphia
